Posts Tagged ‘bollywood’

Ok…….as a metalhead the things i love doing ( after listen to metal music ) is to irritate bollywood listeners ( then comes Justin Bieber listeners ).
Well, I have always tried to make people listen to metal instead of bollywood but some people are just too much into it………. 😦

If you know any bollywood listener you will come to know that

1) That person will use words like ” Fatte!!! (फत्ते ) ” ” Awesome!! ( they will pronouce it as , aawweesum! or अव्सोम ) ”

2) That person will usually think no end of himself/herself.

3) He/She will not admit that Bollywood sucks and will try and tease you for listening to metal.

But still, all people ( other than people above 30 years* ) have to change their genre of music… one place you find a person showing the devils horns ( \m/ ) and saying one of the following

1) Wassup!!!!

2) क्या  फत्ते  गाना  सुना  आज !!!

3) I heard a new Akon song tday!! ( \m/ )!!!!!!!

4) I got a new Justin Bieber album tday! He is so cute!!!yay/yaho! ( \m/ )

now really, WTF is going on here!!! First of all the devils horns is something made only for Metalheads!!! Not any Bollywood/Poop/rap fan!!

But back to the topic,

I had a conservation with a friend of mine ( named as ” RF ” ) So he/she comes up to me…

RF: Ae! Prabhav! Have you heard the song called ” Pehli nazar” ??
Me: ya, it sucks…….do you know that it is copid?
RF: ( like he/she did not hear my reply ) It’s so touching na…vert fatte…I love that song….its on my ipod….
Me: Whats so great on that song! Do you even know  that it is copied?
RF: I love that song….its not like the gay songs you listen to…
Me: So you call songs like Tornado of souls and A tout Le Monde gay? you suck….
RF: Ok wait…That song is very good and with <> in the song, it was so sweet! I felt like crying 😉
Me: What should i do if an actor looks cute? you said that the song fatte… what does the look of the actor have to do with the song?
RF: Please! The song sounds very original! and very sweet also…..can you think of a song like that? The lyrics are so original..
Me: Stop!!! The lyrics are written by a lyricist and given to a music composer…who puts the words to music…..So you are in love with the lyricist not the  composer…..
RF: Why can’t you admit that some songs are better than your – Heavy metal 😛
Me: Cuz the only thing that can go with metal is classical that too metal and ya come to my place for 5 mins i will show u a video of the song that was the original ” Pehli nazar me ”

So I took RF to my house showed this video
I waited till the song got over and this was RF’s reaction
RF: Hey!!! They Copied Pehli Nazar Me!!!! These japaneese people have nop other job or what!!!
Then suddenly RF left my house….forgetting the main reason of comming…

Now you tell me, I listen to composers like A R Raman because he still had originality, and his songs were some what tolerable to hear……but i also listen to Metallica , Iron Maiden , Megadeth along with western classical like Yanni etc, and even i know that bollywood is a combination of many wannabe’s and copy cats etc. These people here ( like RF ) have no interest in other genres for some reason….and only want their Fatte Bollywood songs….
When I tell people ” I don’t listen to bollywood” They say ” You listen to Hollywood?” then i reply ” No, I listen to a genre of music called Heavy Metal” They just look at me with a blank face.

Metal is not hollywood!!!! :@

Now After the Music comes the annoying 10 minutes dance during the moive. And incase you donno, you can actually complain about the laws of physics with your teacher with example of bollywood and get 100 out off 100 in the marksX-)

Here is another song which people found Fatte, and  that too they told me ” You listen to metal na? Here is a song/video that you would love!” and play the song ” Dil Kare” From  ” All the Best “.
I can admit that the song ( compared to the other songs that released that time ) is quite good but come on!!! The video is plain hilerious!!!
Here is the video link :
I would recomend that you read what i have written and watch the video at the same time 🙂

1) how can a guitar be thrown in a vertical direction not
tilt while landing on the players hand that same
2) Where is the guitar cord ( the wire which connects
the guitar to the amplifier)
OMG!!!!! What a “fatte” guitarist!!!! ?
3) Okok, I can understand SANJAY DUTT is the
drummer and all, but who is playing the drums after
(1:25 mins)??? Is there is ghost!!!!!
OMG!!! How ““fatte””!!!!!!
4) After (1:39) a “fatte” solo stats where the guitarist
is playing the guitar the wrong way because in a
guitar the highest chords/nots are heard near that
hole and the lowest at the top end of  the guitar!!!!
What happened to the GK!!!!!!!
5) How come SANJAY DUTT, Fardeen Khan and Rohit
shetty have the same voice!!!!!! OMG!!!!! How
6) Similar to point (3), where is the drummer in 3:00
7) If u see it from 3:12 you can argue with your science
teacher for giving you less marks in the various laws
of physics( I am talking about the relevant laws 😛 )

I think u might have understood what I am trying to
say  ? 🙂

Now If you are a director or planning to become one, here are some rules you will have to follow ( reference)

1. The story must be about romance. No questions. To
give the villagers who watch these movies a twist, try
adding as many love triangles as possible, and even love
rectangles, if more than two actors are in the film. Love
dodecahedrons may be a possibility.
2) Shah Ruk Khan or anyone from the Khan Family should appear in the movie bare chested, or the movie will become a flop and there will be protesters on the street.
3) Each Actor has to appear in the movie with atleast 9 different hair styles.
4)Every movie must have 10 songs. each needs to be a
minimum of 10 minutes In the corresponding videos,
Sharook Khan must raise his hands in the air as if to hug
noone in particular but everyone in general, followed by
curling his eyebrows in unusual positions (triangular
positions are highly favorable, to remind the audience of
the numerous love triangles) followed by running his
finger inexplicably through his hair.
5)The movie should be either similar or a copy of a book/hollywood movie bcuz original stuff here suck.
6) Characters must for reasons unknown have their
clothes changed and location changed during songs. This
is to signify that a change has occurred in the day. Ie.
day to night.There is always supposed to be a time and
place for each ““fatte”” songs words
7) SInce you have paid for the freakin songs you have no idea other than to bore the audience with such songs which again has no relation with rules of physics
(see this video, too funny 🙂 and explains the above points clearly..)
8) You dont need to take up science as a subject ( espicially physics) bcuz the viewers wont know the difference.. and will try the ” Stunts ” in public, try and sue you, then come to know that India does not allow suing ( some conditions are to be fulfilled ) when they loose all their money by to buying a lawyer, this in turn will make your face (the director/producer) come on each newspaper along with the movie name, so free publicity 🙂

So Here you go, here is bollywood the way everyone knows it,
Oh ya, BTW if u are going to complain to physics about
the laws of physics and all , dare not include my
name!!!!!!! but mention my blog  🙂

I have put a * above 30 years old bcuz it is told that people who have been listening to which ever music when they were  below 30 will not change their genre after 30 years and will find interest in jazz music ( which is also a good genre btw )

Sorry if there are any typos 🙂
LEmme know if there are any changes to be made in this post and please leave a comment on how u found this post 🙂

Courtesy – @megabored